this is something i want to write for you and only you. i dont know if you read what i post long long time ago about my bros and my ex. i used to say this. "bro/gf, if someone were to shoot a bullet at you, i would take the bullet for you" thats what i told them last time. "baby, i will love no one eles but you" thats what i said to my gf last time. "we will be the best of friends and nothing will bring us down" is what i said to my best friends.
today i learned something. it just came to me out of nowhere believe me or not. and i dont know what am about to say is true or false. i just go by the feeling inside me.
if someone really shoots a bullet at my besti or my gf. i really dont know if i would dive in to save them because it didnt happen. imagining things that happen and the things that you experience in real life is both different things. its like you listen to a CD and going to a real live concert, the atmosphere is different. its like what most people would say, if a car rushes at you, you would just dive and avoid it. but when it happens, you will just stand there and think what to do when your mind is blank. cause i nearly got run over by a car recently, luckily the car stop in time.
and if someone says to you that he/she loves you and only you. well, i think thats not true ,because you wouldnt know what you would think in the near future. and you cannot foresee the near future. i always believe this. and i believe that if you have trust in the relationship, you would just go on and not doubting what the near future brings. and if you say i love you to someone you love. it should be meant from the bottom of your heart at that time and not saying it just for the sake of saying it. if my KJ knew what am saying, he would knew why i gave the 8 boxes to her.
and to my besti: i seriously hoped that we could be best friends and go to each others wedding, being a VIP guest or sitting at a red table. bringing our kids and wife for some shopping. meeting up and catching up on weekends. but what we can do is imagine and hoped. being a couple or husband and wife, there is much giving and taking. that goes without saying for best friends as well. and we cant say that we will be best friends 10 years down the road. look at jy or javier? or even some of your long lost best friends. you might say something similar to them last time, how about now?
well...i guess some of you guys dont really understand what am saying. but seriously, we got to be realistic in this world especially Singapore. come on! if you want to hear sweet words, i bet every guys or girls even RETARDS can say sweet things to you. but i bet you, not everyone could face the ugly things they see or ugly words they hear. if someone told me all my bad habits and fucked me upside downs because of my idiotic action. i can tell you, he's not my enemy, he is my friend.
what choices we made now. affect our future. what decision or what we say, affect others in one way or another. what action we do, reflects on our self. therefore..after all these years. i only remember among the billions words my parents said to me. "think before you do" just 4 words and it describe so much. most people say action speaks louder than words. but i think that sometimes words speak louder than action. depending on the person who says this.
the other phase i would want to tell you. ignorance is bliss.
goodnights, Jeslin Ho Jia Ling
spill.
shout it,
obvious
addicted to you.
Could be your eyes.
Could be your smile.
Could be the way you freed my mind.
Your precious touch caressed my soul.
You gave me everything I need.
And now I'm lost. You said I'm not the only one for you
Please give it one more try for the sake of my love.
Let's give it one more chance cause I can't give you up.
I can't live one more day without you in my arms.
I could never find another like you.
Could be the lies.
Could be my pride.
Could be the days and nights so wild.
Could be the times I wasn't there.
And all the nights we didn't share.
And now i'm lost.
I can't sleep.
I can't live without you by my side.
So cold, So lost without you as my guide.
You made me realise I'm nothing.