i wanted to post a description of my best friends but decided not to. and post some of my thoughts instead. some are hidden so sorry. =) the post is abit fucked up so best is not to read eh?
sometimes i wonder, have i became a changed person from before? i keep asking myself do i really love her? because i dont want to break another heart. nor do i want to keep changing gf. my friends sometimes calls me a flirt. i kept saying am not. but after i sat down and think i think i am. REASON: cause last time whenever i chase a girl, its like anyhow only. if she wants to be with me then be with me. dont want just fucked off. and to think of it now. my love life. i only love 3 girls in my life before. huifang, jasmine and jeslin. and i shall spill all out now. fuck. i dont even know if i want to post this out. maybe certain parts.
Huifang: the reason i broke up with her is because she doesnt have a mind on her own, too sensitive in EVERYTHING, doesnt trust me no matter what i said or do, keep comparing me with other guys, too childish, and usually what i would say to cover everything. fucked up. i guess i stayed with her so long because i seriously wanted to settle down with her already. i would say i did my part as a boyfriend already. i really try my best. guess we just doesnt suit each other.
Jasmine. i lazy to talk about her.
Jeslin. i dont think i will be with her based on my theory. but nevertheless, i dont know why she is the only girl in my life that i could find myself happy and laughing whenever i talk to her. ANYTHING. even thought those words would make me sad but i dont know why i find it so funny. to be honest. none of my friends said she is pretty and even i find her kind of ugly. but i just feel this feeling pulling me towards her. she's super cute and attractive from the way i see her. YES. last time i used to chased her. but it was like heck care type. but this time i dont know why the more i talk to her, the more i love her and love her and love her. i kept asking myself, do i love her? is she worth it? i didnt know last time. but now yes. she's worth it. i have this feeling of sour, sad and happiness each time i spoke with her. i dont know this kind of feeling and not even with huifang. and i guess she was the only girl that am willing to vomit out blood after like one zillion attempts of asking her out. and her answer would be idk or no. yah. i guess she can be irritating sometimes with the idk. but she still make me laugh in the end. it was she that make me couldnt sleep again. and i freaking hate the feeling of sleepless nights. and like i said before my post, i really would give anything just to hear her say how she feels. although i somehow know the answer would be idk or no. but i just want to hear it. yeah. my friends call me barbarian and violent but i dont know why i want to cry when she say those words. i really love her.