reasons

JESLIN HO JIA LING

BOO! didnt want to spoil her image therefore, this is a picture of the crazy girl next door. =)

actually, i have a secret that i'm so unwilling to share with her. its been trapped inside so long. but yet am afraid. am afraid of losing you as a friend. am afraid you would avoid me further than now. am afraid i cant get to see or talk to you anymore. so i would just write it over here in darkness hoping you would find it somehow. i know that am not a great guy or the perfect person or even the boy in your eyes. even if i told you that i would pull down the stars or the moon for you. that wouldnt be true. but one thing that is true is that i love you. i just love talking to you. each time whenever i talk to you, it just makes my day great. each time when i received your sms, its like bringing me to lalaland. i even beg my friend to act as you, jeslin ho. so that i can have a moment with you in my reality. last time, i always thought that a pretty and hot girl could make my heart melt. but i was wrong. when i get to know more about you. a normal girl, with a normal smile and a normal life, seems special to me. i want to be the guy to have the key to your heart. but somehow, every time i move a step towards the door. it just seems further and further and further away from me. and suddenly, for a moment, i felt that everyone in the world has died and here am i, standing alone in total vacant. somehow, i just wishes that someday, you would want to know what life am having and ask me of my day. or just send me a good morning occasionally when you wake up. sometimes i wonder, is it you didnt want to meet up with me, didnt want to see me or your just busy? and i keep telling myself and my best friends that your just busy to go out. but as days gets closer, am beginning to doubt myself. i seriously am not good with words. and i really dont know how to open it up to you. i would be willing to spend 10 years of my life just to hear how you feel about me. its funny. yesterday when i was at the chalet. i keep thinking of you no matter where i go. even when i go shit, i would think of you every minute. (its kind of sick). but thats the truth. then at night. when my 2 friends came. one of them played a game with me. she ask me to think of 4 girls. it was something like a fortune-telling game. well, some are true. but each time the card hits your name. i dont know why i felt sad and happy at the same time. maybe am sad because i know thats not true. and maybe am happy cause i made myself think that some might be true. i really dont know. right now, all i know is that am in love with you and somehow, your avoiding me. you said that if your dao, you wont be msging me and all. well, maybe you just msg along or something. i dont know. my friends said that i'm getting crazy. am scared of losing you thats all

reasons

spill.

obvious