REASONS.

2009-02-16T19:16:00.002+08:00

i finally found the reason why am still holding on to you.
its quite simple actually.
if you were to find a billion dollar, would you hold it close?
if you were to find a 100kg gold, would you let go?
you are my happiness.

2009-01-03T22:41:00.002+08:00

i will wipe away your tears with my blood.
i will wipe away the sadness with my smile.
i will find the key. no matter how.
cause i love you jeslin.
and like randy told me.
if you are happy. thats all that matters most.

2009-01-03T19:42:00.006+08:00

steamboat with them!the rest were lazy-ing in my room.

look at this small girl.

BOO! at work now. its so boring at night.
the weather is cold, there is nobody working with me. =(
well...as for my http. nope. she is not my girlfriend.
erm. she is just someone i'm crazy over and love alot.
and yah. its one sided. so stop asking me about her.
cause its depress-ing. =/
was hav-ing mood swings recently.
but thanks guys! your lame jokes and lame disturb-ing.
piss me off but in a funny way. LOL!

yesterday.
went out to meet jy in the afternoon with wendy.
walk-ed around in town till about 5? and head-ed down to vivo.
sherwin came to pick us up with meiqi.
and head-ed to my house to prepare the steamboat.
meiqi went home cause idk why. she cant go home late.
randy,aug,kj,darren and his gf.
i and jy did most of the preparation. =)
didnt eat much as well.
bert and sherwin came over after while.
me,both of them and randy talk about cars like 2hours?
i end-ed up so high that i went to drove my mom's car.
but i scare she wake up, so i drove half way only.
haha. we went to watch-ed transporter 3 after everything was done.
jy was sleeping soundly and was disturb-ed by ME!
talk to randy alot of stuff. and he say i'm crazyyy after looking at something.
jy and wendy was trying very hard to see when we were in the bus heading to vivo.
haha. ened up being laugh at. =( no no no good. haha.
after movie. its was like 3 or 4am? i forgot the time already.
we head-ed to DOME for a game of dota. 4v4.
our starting character sucks cause we got ban heros.
kj and darren(he played at home) keep kp say confirm lose.
randy was sleeping half way through the game.
and was woken up by me, with a light slap. haha.
and end-ed up winning the game. i guess we are too pro already.
LOL! serious! by level 4 our first tower was push-ed.
level 6. our mid tower was push-ed all the way in.
its a super long and good game. we fought back at the end.
thanks to our teamwork. LOL!
upload some photos when i get home eh.
byebye.

2009-01-03T06:05:00.001+08:00

yeah. i know my http is abit crazziiii. but who cares!
hmm..blog tml eh. just came home after a steamboat at my palce and dota.

2009-01-02T05:39:00.005+08:00

read your full blog ytd and today.
but idk why tear just keep flowing today.
i'm feeling so depress right now.
i guess until now then i realise-ed how much i really love you.
but its just like randy and ym. we cant never be together.
no matter how hard i try.
i dont know how to entertain-ed people.
but i know how to give my everything to you.
i know i have promise-ed before.
but this type i'm serious.
from the moment i saw you the first time.
i guess i was attract-ed to you.
i will wait for you till you get a bf.
cause i feel that anyone who is your bf.
is really lucky and you really love alot.

randy. can you lend me your shoulder tml?
its true. i'm crazy over you.

2009-01-02T03:50:00.004+08:00

spend countdown with surfie baby.

airport!

look at this! meiqi is joke of the day!

look at us! doing this to bert's van! LOL.

stay-ed at home till about 5pm and head-ed down to handgun house.
sherwin pick us up and went airport to eat Popeye.
sherwin,jy,meiqi,wendy,aug and me!
did some shopping at airport while the girls study-ed.
LOL!
after they study-ed about 1hour plus. we head-ed down to GG.
the coms there abit F up. so aug,jy,wendy and me play-ed left4dead.
its getting boring. we complete-ed everything. and we play-ed again.
DOTA, meiqi dont know how to play. end up quit game with sherwin.
sian! LOL!
and we did something to bert's van. he is gonna be really mad!
LOL!
working with jj ka yy tml. byebye!
steamboat with all of them tml as well. byebye!
i'm getting a car on JUNE. provided i'm able to save money in time.
either integra, s15 or WRX(sti).=)

2009-01-01T14:56:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEPS!
idk what to blog cause am stuck at home.
anyway, have fun!

2008-12-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

HOME ALONE!
SO SAD!
gang went clubbing. =(

2008-12-31T01:24:00.003+08:00

found this really old pic.

today stay-ed at home the whole day.
went to meet my officer for awhile and back-ed.
augustine came my house at night while i was watching some cooking celebrati show.
its damn nice! LOL. as in the food they cook.
we cab-ed down to katong to find jj ka yy and lan-ed.
lost two matches. cause of our noob teammates.
me,aug and bert. the two other idk who. is damn noob.
i farm fucking fast already. but cant push.
2nd match we actually could win. 1 leave game. 1 anti-mage noob.
but me and aug keep farming and playing around. LOL.
end up late game they keep pushing when they gang-ed us.LOL.
me,aug and bert one lane each. then the 5 enemies gang one by one.
jj ka yy and the rest play-ed life for dead. cause there were not enough com, we 3 had to play dota. but it beats life for dead. LOL.
working at katong tml. hope my gang dont go club tml. if not i will be alone at home with surfie for countdown. cause i hate to club.
byebye!

i'm not a flirt.

2008-12-29T22:58:00.003+08:00

HMG! anyone has this dvd or vcd?
i watched half way and the picture keep jumping. >=(
arghs. if got can lend me? pls pls pls!
i think my song makes me moooddddyyyyy!!
how i wish randy wasnt booking in today!!
but i always forgets my trouble when i am with him!!
so didnt really get a chance to talk out to him!!
ARGHS!!

2008-12-29T20:33:00.005+08:00

my desk!

fucking cool wheels! am gonna buy it.

aint this skate style?

slacking on job. i think i damn lame eh. LOL.

just came back from dinner with dad.
lol. he went to pick me up.
work today was great!
all i had to do was:
read newspaper
play hp game
smoke
and just count stocks whick took me 15mins.
easy eh?
i have a lil secret that i dont know whether to share or not?
cause as i was eating, i saw a kiddo who was kind of cute. LOL.
oh yeah! i found some great wheels for my skate.
check it out!
alright! shall go watch my kung fu soccer. its dam nice!

2008-12-29T03:12:00.002+08:00

your voice was the sound track of my summer.
do you know your unlike any other?
your eyes are the brightest of all the colours.
i dont want to ever love another.
i would want to wwalk the thousand miles with you.
but you?
mood swing suddenly. LOL.
how i wish that pig headed xm was online.
so that i can throw my shit at her.
i guess besides my BFF. she is the one i throw my shit at.
gonna sleep already. working tml. goodnights.

2008-12-28T22:40:00.012+08:00

the blogger. 0_0

this is all we can show. LOL.

3 buddies, 4 years of friends!

aint my towel cool?

kj. photographer.

we went to pick this fellow up who lost his way in sentosa!

and LOOK what he bring to sentosa! LOL

this ang mo is power at Frisbee.

i felt i didnt take with darren for so long. =D

i think this pic damn cool. =D

bunch of gays trying to style their hairs.

own at DOTA again! LOL.

this is the reason why i always go home to eat. SHIOK!

went sentosa with BFF today! LOL.
i was smart to set the time at 12pm.
and guess what time we reach sentosa? 2pm?
reasons: cause kj slow and darren went home to bathe, we ate at vivo and get drinks and shampoo.
thats why so long. haha
and there is one fact that we all know.
aug is fucking the irritating.
he called us/me like 20 times? to ask direction and where he is all this.
and the worst part. he keep asking the same things.
luckily, me, randy and darren hands were oily.
so kj had to do the suffer-ing. LOL.
i only like suntan-ed for 2 hours? and i had to go pick that hand gun up.
by the time i was back. there wasnt any sun at all. =(
but we had a great time there. talking cock, playing cards, looking at niggas(randy toh).
we noticed something. there was this like secondary school girls.
3 of them were playing with INDIAN PEOPLE. blangadash. WTF!
i told randy. that maybe they lack of guys. haha. hopeless.

kj told us that he didnt want to be left out of the picture like what we did to jeffery the other time. its like he wasnt there with us at sentosa! haha. it was damn funny. but too bad, our hands were all oily so he had to do the photos.

we left sentosa like 6plus. the shower room was like pack. we ended up bathing openly. kj was so shy to take off everything. randy and me, we hid at a corner and take a quick bathe. LOL. headed off to DOME. LOL. its very very addictive. DOTA. especially, when you keep owning people. look at my high score..power. LOL. my dota skills improve quite alot. right guys? we played like only 2 full match? cause the fucking people at battlenet. keep leaving when we own. today wasnt much of a challenge. yesterday was damn fun. haha.

oh. sorry guys. i keep saying i had to go home to eat. but look at the food on my table. my favourite pig leg trotter. how not to not eat? well, bye!

i think this is the first post where i uploaded so many pics. LOL. byebye! am lazy to do the pics. i dont know why is it like this. LOL. maybe my mechanic will tell me. =D thanks MEDCHANIC! LOL!

2008-12-27T23:19:00.004+08:00

went to play left 4 dead. i have completed two levels/stages already. LOL. kind of fun. it took us an hour?

was surprised sis played played. she told me she was addicted. LOL.

then we played our DOTA. didnt really own today. but we won 3 matches straight.

sentosa tml with them. bloody idiot pig head xm. LOL.

kind of lazy to blog.

oh yeah. i feel like buying this car when i get my licences, but pretty ex eh.

Nissan Silvia S15. nice?

2008-12-26T19:05:00.004+08:00

this was how bored i was. LOL.

AM SO BORED!
wanted to stayed at home.
didnt accompany aug cut his hair. LOL.
hmm...i guess i know who he called.
so broke too!! arghs.
luckily i downloaded a F cool game in my hp.
but i accidently restart it. =(
and it keeps making my phone hang. =(
HMG! i want to buy 2 important things.
a new computer(apple?) and i want to get a new hp(N96? or some N series)
bye! i go find something to do. =D

2008-12-26T16:54:00.002+08:00

i am addictted to this song which i found last night. damn nice.

Love Remains The Same: Gavin Rossdale
A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me want to run till' I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We should've had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

I, oh I, I wish this could last forever
I, oh I, As if we could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same

2008-12-25T23:52:00.003+08:00

heyo! went dota with randy, darren and augustine.

hmm..i was relaxing at home and chatting with beautiful. LOL!

(dont kill me. beautiful. LOL!)

then aug was spam-ing my hp calling me to go out.

LOL. he said he meeting huiting at first.

then when he finish iron-ing his clothes.

huiting told him cancel. LOL!

then after much pushing of his calls to randy toh cher shuen.

we went down town to dota.

we played left 4 dead first cuase the hand gun hasnt arrive.

damn fun i tell you, exciting. you will like shout here and there to ya team mates.

and dota. well, i did pretty good man. i keep random-ing until the last game. we totally own people. and not full clan.

just 4. LOL.

hmm...here are some pics.

i heading back to dome. LOL. jj ka yy just called me to go play. LOL.

siting VIP car. haha. funny. byebye!

2nd! even thought my di is 22 only!

the lan shop was trying to save electricity. so we played in the dark. : randy. LOL!

2008-12-25T05:19:00.004+08:00

LOL. i dont know why i keep blogging sial!
was looking at the IP address and everything. LOL.
i think i finally found yours eh.219 or 121?
i think so only lah.
haha.
hmm..i read something on the 24th.
why i sucks man? LOL. your go guess the month eh.
i told randy i got my driving licence. i going to fetch you around.
but that would be quite long.
but i will fetch that xm. LOL.
then i told her. must a few more chicks.
then she say. one fat pig and a few chio bu? LOL.
got to mahjong with her and win her money soon.
haha,
i going to sleep already. byebye. cranky already.

2008-12-25T04:36:00.002+08:00

LOL! sorry for the multiple posting. but i dont post this i not shiok eh.
TO NG CHIWEN.
firstly, i didnt talk anything behind your back. i dont know why the fuck you say that. anyway, cant be bothered.
secondly, i was FUCKING sick. how the FUCK to be there? use your FUCKING brain. i always fly over when you need me. the very day i was super sick. i FUCKING cab to your place.
thirdly, i didnt keep anything then say all out. its really FUCKING nothing to say what. i also not displeased or anything.
fourthly, if you love a person so much. you can FUCKING send a person so much list of the things you hate or not happy with. like WTF man.
fifth, i didnt sleep for like 2 days. that day you came my house, i finally can sleep. your friend talk and you kp about your N level result. how the fuck i sleep? you can like go out talk right?
sixth, i really cant imagine my gf leaving me when i am sick. and my sick this those FUCKING feel like committing sucide those kind. you dont understand my sickness at all.
seventh, we just dont understand each other.
eighth, i wasted all of my time and money. i regret!
ninth, please dont come my blog again please! get the FUCK OUT. cause you are rubbish...you piss the FUCK out of me!
tenth, say all you want about me eh. just dont let me hear. i'm a FUCKING violent person if i must. ARGHS!! super piss off!!

2008-12-25T04:23:00.002+08:00

oh yeah. i cut my hair eh. LOL.
my conversation with alex.(the hair stylish)
alex:i cut a new hair style for you ah.
daryl: what? dont want ugly one lei.
alex: comfirm nice. i'm gonna layer ya fridge.
daryl: HUH! cut banks ah? DAMN UGLY LAH!
alex: no lah. different. nice lah. just try.
daryl: okay lo..............

after the hair cut. comments by 3 people and a wet blanket. LOL
randy: you are like those pretty korean boy.
alex: something like a korean look.
wendy: nice..you look more decent and not ah beng.
fnf: not nice lah.(he is wet blanket)
then the rest didnt say anything, cause after jy say its not nice. i put on my cap. LOL.
take a photo tml eh.
hopefully my plan with randy is not damaged by the rain. =DD

2008-12-25T04:12:00.002+08:00

just ended my christmas outing with gang. didnt want to go out actually. but was too bored at home. still having slight fever and cough. bad bad.
went to watch IP MAN with randy,kj and aug. LOL. kj was so last min that he had to sit behind us as there were no more tickets. haha. i wanted to take a photo of everything. but was too tired and sicky to take. i find that xmas aint much of a fun. rainning, floor wet, town is like little india. the people i tell you! even the police cannot handle. LOL.
then heard from randy or kj that singaporean(lil bengs) custome for xmas is to beat up indian people. LOL. cause i think there was a slight querral at town. but there were supr many cops too. like everywhere you walk. you can see 3 to 4 cops there.
we slack at town after movie for like 1 hour? LOL. meet up with darren and his gf. then we were so lost at where to go.

the whole process damn cool. i was very quiet as i was sick. but i noticed that aug keep coming his trademark. LOL. right randy and kj? hahaha. and stupid randy toh cher shun. other day then go club lah. i hate to club man. must special special occasion then drag me along eh. LOL. oh yeah. we ended up at pasir ris(seabreeze) to meet jy. they drank abit then headed down to JY CAFE. haha. and home-ed. nothing much eh. i just cant wait for chinese new year. LOL. the only PH that i love. i hoped am not working on CNY. ciaos. cbbwyam.

2008-12-24T10:22:00.002+08:00

i guess you are rubbish.
its like you have never been into a reletionship before.
everything aint perfect.
not everything has to go THAT way.
you said you love me.
yet when i ask you what did i do wrong.
you said a whole lot of things.
you ask me to love you for who you are.
didnt I?
i dont querral over small things doesnt mean i keep things inside.
its just seem stupid. so i cant even be bothered to remember.
you can tell the whole world that you have been persistant and all.
but i can tell you one thing.
YOU ARE THE WORST GF I HAD.
and yet, you say you did alot.
i didnt tell you about my ex gf cause i dont like to compare.
i'm dead sick and still has to deal with your nonsense.
and you left me when i needed someone the most. *claps claps
i guess you are just a little princess.
randy says you are in your own lalaland and we wont last.
LOL! he said from the start. i guess he was right.
randy. other day i want to ask you something. LOL!
you are my punching mouth.

oh. i put this black cause i dont want to querral over blogs. just want to type and read for myself. =))
my sickness is one after another. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! am having slight fever,sore throat and a little flu. GOSH!

2008-12-23T17:22:00.002+08:00

MY GOD! i keep falling sick. was getting better then yesterday night suddenly i had a high fever. i was so cold that i wrapped myself with 2 blanket. and i ended up sweating a river. then i was thirsty and walked to the kitchen. and for the first time in my life. i feel like fainting. my head spinning. my vision is really blur. and i cant see where i am going. i got to like touch the wall and all. its a nightmare last night. its tough without anyone looking after you. =((
i'm feeling slightly better today. went down to buy porridge, rock melon and a pack of herbal sticks. LOL. ANG called me and ask me to work. but i told him i sick. LOL. then he say why i always sick ah? guess i'm not as strong as before. then i was thinking. cause i was sick recently and recently he keep calling me. LOL.
oh yeah. my blog abit haywire cause i accidentally deleted something. waiting for my mechanic to help me repair. jeslin ho jia ling. haha. i wonder what will my friends be doing this xmas. casue last xmas we didnt celebrate. and i dont know if i will be going out or am i recovered. dammit. i hate getting sick!!!

2008-12-22T15:44:00.003+08:00

alright. am single now. so girls. LOL! just kidding.
i like this song. damn nice. used to listen when i was a small kiddo.
i remember cause i sat bert car that day, then he played it.
jacky and andy rocks big time man! lol.
alright. shall go chiong my pig liver already. cause my dad used to say.
eat more pig liver can gain blood. and am losing blood. haha. byebye! shall bloggy soon eh.

PEOPLE! some encouragement lei. hahaha.
i may not sound or look sad you know. but...
just waiting for randy to faster book out. didnt get to meet him last weekend. =(

2008-12-21T05:56:00.002+08:00

i told myself that i die die also must blog about this today.
my ex or current gf. i dont know. we are in a mist of a big fight.
cook abolone porridge for me.
wah.
when i went to meet jy. about 1hour later. my sis called me and said she is downstairs and brought porridge for me. i was shocked! if i know i dont go out. i go out cause i feel damn sian. yeah. its like a hot iron pole suddenly soaked in the water.

anyway, i just came back. i think i damn power. i wanted to go home like before 10pm. but jj ka yy ask me go here and there then aii! just follow lo. follow until now. i didnt eat much the whole day cause i got alot of food. one porridge. and my dad cook for me. haha. but in the end change to tml. cause i kp him, i got alot of food already. was kind of fun and relax day. totally didnt think or couldnt think of anything at all. guess am still not recovered yet. sorry randy. didnt watch movie with you guys. cause i really didnt feel like going out at that time.

basically. am damn touched by what you did chiwen. first is the bird nest. second is the porridge. i didnt even bear to throw the bird nest box away. hmm...actaully. i dont like this. i just want you to be happy. if you realised that. somehow. yeah.

anyway, the porridge abit disgusting eh. but better than me la. i dont even know how to cook. hmm..thanks anyway. i shall let nature takes its course. oh yeah. i took a photo of the heating up porridge. cause i think damn cool. like the porridge got burn at the bottom. thats how lousy am i. LOL. kay. i freaking the tired and blur. tml i guess i staying home already. haha. nights.

2008-12-20T17:27:00.004+08:00

you are crazy!
i swear i will never date younger girls again!
btw, AM SINGLE!!! lol.
wanted to quit smoking on xmas.heng, i didnt quit smoking.
i know its for my own good. lol. but who cares!
am piss off not because of break up. is she is being lame and childish.
hmm...explained myself more when am 100% okay.
just wanted to tell my peps am single. =D

2008-12-20T15:00:00.004+08:00

hi peps. you ever wonder if a person can get sick for 1week plus?
thats me alright! LOL. been feeling fucked up the fucking fucked up lately. so sad can. lieing on the bed, unable to fall asleep. mind blown off. body weak like shit. ARGHS!!
anyway, am getting better. but still feel like shit. it aint easy as it seem. cause my sickness is not normal sickness. and addition. they gave me special offer. a cough and a running nose. power eh. ATTITUDE SI TAHW UOY EVAH. I TNAC YSAWLA EB GNORTS. TEG TI?

will blog when i am feeling better eh. BYEBYE!!

2008-12-09T07:09:00.004+08:00

been super lazy to blog these few days. LOL.
nothing really interesting happen.
just did my CSO. the painting of the childcare center. LOOK AT MY ARTWORK. LOL.

just celebration of JY birthday.
we went to some pub at clark quey to drink.
and we bash JY up. actually is sherwin,bert and his friend lah.

cause you dont beat up your shifu. if not lightning will strike you. thats what randy said. LOL.

and august. he pinch JY backside. that was sick. haha. but in the end. everyone had fun i hoped.

thanks JY for the cab fare. LOL.

chirstmas is coming. i dont know what my baby want to do.

i just hope nothing expensive. wanted to get a camera for our 2nd month.

but i kind of broke as i need to save for hong kong trip.

what should i do?

my craving for potato chips these few days.

aint my art piece cool?

the bird day boy! the one wearing the gay white pants.

2008-11-30T11:14:00.003+08:00

its so boring being at shop.
its okay la. at least can use internet.
but there isnt much people here. and i'm really lacking of sleeping.
didnt went out with friends this week.

to chiwen. i cant tag at your blog cause shop internet sucks.
anyway, i didnt say anything to make you feel worst.
i'm just stating facts and facts. if you think that lieing makes you feel better then what randy said is true. stop living in your dream world. you nag about the hp bill when you are outside for? it will only spoil your mood. and you cant do anything right? since you want me to lie, i will lie to you if that makes you feel better. i guess you should start facing facts rather than trying to act smart lo. thats not being mature yeah. by the way, this is recent. you come ecp and want to buy food for me, then i eat already what you want? and its not i not surprise or anything. what you want me to do? shout loudly say"wah! baby, you are here?" when i already know the moment you say what i want to eat. i mean. what's there to be angry about? as if i dont appreciate. its just not surprising to me what. cause i already know. anyway. thanks.

yeah. my cash is running low too. LOL. waking up early morning like 7am to open shop and sit cab down. cause i cant wake up at 6.30 to sit bus. i dont know why. i slept like 10pm last night. too tired i guess. thats about it. OMG. i really missing my guys.
anyway, i dont think we will last long if you keep up with your childish acts.
you keep getting angry for lame reason. and when i piss off and you are okay. you want me to change my mood in a sec. and its not i keep suan-ing you or what. i just want you to be smarter and more tong si. you see. even andrew and jerry laugh at the stupid things you say. and chiwen, if i didnt treat you right, you think your sis will support me? cause we know what 'kun' are you. seriously, i trying my very best not to get angry when you are angry at stupid things. thats my goal. for now.

2008-11-28T03:10:00.002+08:00

missing you idiots! =)

OMG. i just love this 2 songs. LOL.

shall not eleborate. =D

oh yeah. got a new facebook! i just addicted to the games that xm played. damn fun. LOL.

add me eh. pisces_daryl@hotmail.com. =DD

cant wait for my next dota match with randy and gang. havent been touching dota for like xxxxdays.

thanks to them, am kind of itching for dota. oh yeah. working at inline ECP soon. kind of boring. but what to do. nothing to do so just work and earn some bucks. LOL.

recent news!

andrew broke up with hilary. well. he told me he cant stand her and all. but from my point of view andrew. no hard feelings. i just think that she has been trying to change and yet you think its not enough. like what you told me, you been trying to find all the wrongs she's been doing. well, you said you want to broke up and yet you keep pissing off because she treat as if nothing happens. i mean. if you want herto beg you not to go and all, its abit too much right? thats how you are telling me. and she didnt treat as nothing happen. its like something important just went missing from her life. get it andrew? am not siding anyone. am just stating my point of view. i think now that both of you have broken up. you two should stop puting blame on anyone and do some soul searching. it takes 2 hands to clap. anyway, i'm just 18 and you guys are like 50 if add up together. so i guess you should be able to handle things someway, better than me. like i said, i'm just stating my point.

anyway, to STTR TEAM. FULL TEAM! can we catch up before chinese new year? LOL. it will be just like old times eh? hahaha. i cant be bothered if SOME people say i'm childish or whatever. i have finally understood. say i'm childish all you want. cause it keeps me young and healthy. LOL. baby, am not saying you kay? my other friends. =D

last but not least. i love you baby.

i hope i can buy for you the cute little flower every month. =D

be mature eh. dont get angry. think how to solve problems before you start blowing your mind.

always think. just like i always think one day you will be my dream body. LOL.

goodnights.

2008-11-25T00:27:00.012+08:00

well, kind of lazy and busy to blog these few days.

hmm...catch up with jy,sherwin,bert and gf.

watched chiwawa with them like 2 days ago.

haha. there was 11 of us. hmm..could be more.

anyway, chiwen watched already but she joined in anyway. played with best friends and had a whole lot of laugh.

today was baby and me anniversary. 1 month. still long way to go dude. LOL.

well, i must say. this is a tough 1 month. have totally no idea how the rest is going to be.

i guess she really loves me alot. the question is. can i hold on to you?

we should really stop our nonsense already eh.

went EN to eat. EN is basically a jap restaurant. and i dont know hwy chiwen likes it.

the food there is expensive and sucks. really. i was hoping to eat cold soba.
but they dont have it. cause its a grill jap restaurant.

and their grill food aint wonderful. please. must chiong cold soba with buddy when he books out.

LOL.

oh yeah. she wrote me a card. i realised that when i reached home. cause i was searching for my sunglasses in her bag. and she was so panic when i touched her bag. so i guess something is amiss.

and soon found a LOVE LETTER for me in her bag. LOL. and the irritating me started to come out. cause i was eager to read what she wrote. whereas, she doesnt want me to read in front of her. (shy) LOL. and i got her a last minute present cause i was busy nua-ing in bed. haha. i got her a little fake flower. like those cartoon flower.well, i must say. she doesnt like it. =( but i found it cute and something special. therefore, i just shut my ears up. LOL.

CSO has bee a burden to me. am left with 60hours. and my dad was kind enough to give me $5/hour. so am gonna claim $300 from him after my CSO is completed. am onto a project. painting at a childcare center. kind of fun. hopefully, i could complete it fast enough eh. i want to buy agnis B cap. super nice can. and it cost $175. sick right? but am buying. baby say she sponsor me either shoe or bag. so i might be getting a aldo shoe. haha. RANDY is gonna be so jealous. shall go to lalaland already. got to go CSO tml. byebye!

something wrong with the photos that are posted on baby lappy.

guess i got to go home to edit.cheers!

2008-11-24T02:39:00.003+08:00

the beauty of my life.

saw one of my old friends blog.
and was kind of shock. 3 years. omg.
i really wish them all the best. haha.
i have been thinking about lots of things tonight.
and i realised that i'm kind of a idiot.
i will try to be the a gentle boyfriend and i shall have a low self-esteem.
i think that would be best. =)
anyway baby. i really hope you can slim down. hahaha.
but if you cant. i will still love you.
and we should stop doing that kay?

ps. i love you ng chiwen.

went out with gang yesterday.

wanted to buy a black bag. but couldnt find any nice one.

guess i got to search and search and search.

sick of shoppin. LOL.

met up with JY and all.

the 11 of us catch a movie. haha.

pretty lazy to blog now. cause i am tired after watching batman begins.

nice show i must say.

photos soon.

byebye.

2008-11-21T21:27:00.001+08:00

i should just die. to prove i love you.

2008-11-21T01:39:00.004+08:00

you still appear in my dreams J.
how often i wish that you would do the same.
but its all just one sided.
now i got a new life ahead of me.
lots of problems to overcome.
but i guess everyone has their own problems.
sometimes, its good just to live in your own world.
not worrying about anything.
just YOU.
all i could do now is to be happy for you.
but if one day you ever need me.
i will always be there.
to hold you.
to help you.
to lift you.
and all i ever wanted.
is for you to remember me.
=)
i miss you J.

and to the fuckhead who thought it was some girl.
i am telling this to jingyang.
you piss me off.

2008-11-20T03:26:00.003+08:00

LOL. was looking at one of my beloved blog and found this. so just take it for fun and laughter.
i guess i must find something interesting to do during the weekend. its getting boring.
sometimes you really amazed me.
and i got to try to get over you.

2008-11-19T00:13:00.002+08:00

i think that you should stop reading the stupid mars and venus book.
if reletionship is based on books. then what for man try so hard to get her?
if a book helps everything. then what for humans work so hard to earn money?
i think you should just use your brain and your feelings rather than using a book.
i think its damn stupid.
so you read afew things in the book. and here comes all the weird shit.
anyway, its your life.
and i wont let a bladdy book be a guild to our relationship.
i just think its damn stupid.
and i guess many people think so too.

2008-11-16T23:52:00.004+08:00

andrew told me some stuff about him and hilary. i didnt wish for the day to tell him the same things as he said to me. i was really depressed when you said i treat you like shit and all.
my ex girlfriend used to told methis as well. but when i am with other gir and did the same. she told me, why you treat me differently from her? then i cant be bothered to say anything.
i seriously dont find myself mistresting you, maybe sometimes i was joking with you. yah. people might find that insulting like you. but even my friends dont find it insulting because we are all friends. whats more you are my girlfriend.

if i said that you are fat and stupid and all. and i'm serious about it. why did i bother being with you?
you said i always leave ou alone when you are angry, but when i come and talk to you, please you. you ignored me. then what you want me to do? i a a guy afterall.
and if you really love me, why say that i am a burden? if i am a burden, why cry over me? i just dont understand. and if just because i irritated you, you get blowed up. then what is that? you didnt even tell me to stop and all. you just laugh with me. am i able to read your mind?

dont make me regret falling in love with you please. i really dont know what am suppose to do.

2008-11-16T16:42:00.005+08:00

if i was a burden to you.
and i hate being a burden to someone.
espcially someone important to me.
if you say i treat you unwell.
then what for i breach my probation just to get closer to you?
why did i querral with my mum because of you?
you said you were disappointed. i am more disappointed.
all i wanted was just for you to be happy.
in the end. all i got was.
maybe am just not good enough for you.
if just a small thing and you make it so big.
i could querral with you everyday.
i seriously dont know what to do.
should i let you go?
because i'm a burden.
or?

who can help?
no one.
why?
because this world is so unfair.

i'm starting to believe in karma

2008-11-16T02:09:00.003+08:00

can i make a wish for the day?
get bang by a car while skating later. =)
i cant handle anymore.

2008-11-16T01:26:00.005+08:00

i guess i already tried my best to please you.
and i have done my best.
so sorry. i couldnt be any better than that.
i guess what you ask of me to do and tolerate is too high.
i just and ordinary guy living a ordinary world.
am not some superman who could do whatever, whenever you want or need.

everytime, you just tell me you are dissappointed.
you are the one to blow your temper.
and yet i have to deal with that shit?
is it fair to me?

you just kept your bladdy mouth shut and expect me to read your mind?
and everyday you say i treat you like shit, pinch me, beat me.
did i say anything?

and yet. all i was wass doing was to make everyone happy. sorry.
i dont know what you want.

2008-11-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

SOONER OR LATER

2008-11-14T22:30:00.002+08:00

BORED AT HOME!
lol. although i just came back like 2 hours? but i was in another home.
didnt feel like going out this few days. i just feel that singapore doesnt have many fun places.
anyway, played mahjong with jeff and baby yesterday. i wanted to play 3 person only cause can make big damn fun.
and i kept making big that i didnt guard at all. =( ended up losing $20.
LOL. i and chiwen the money can kap one. so we lost $20 together.
then didnt went for my CSO today. slept like a bladdy pig. woke up like 5?

baby went clubbing today cause she let me play mahjong yesterday. =(
but was glad that the bouncer didnt let her in. thanks bouncer.
stop using your jesus IC to get into club. LOL.
should stay at home and spend somemore time with me. =D

alright. shall go watch movie or something. byebye.

2008-11-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

well....met up with toh today. pass him my formal wear clothes. cause he need to wear everytime he book out. we decided to eat at EN actually. but the rain prevent us from going because we got to walk a distance. so ended up going douby to eat FISH and CO. but he frickle minded. then went to eat sakae. haha.

we met darren and his gf at arcade. then play afew lame things and headed home-ed.
chat with my buddy quite a few stuff. haha. then we want to go oversea soon. but i dont think going la. i running low on cash. haha. and he told me most stupid thing. go apply credit card. haha. then i told him. HA! my gf will swollow up the card. but alright la. baby helping me to save this few days. got a little improvement. but ytd thing really make me boil-ed up. freaking retard i think. shall not talk about it anymore. later that PMS girl go crazy. =)

oh yeah. we are fine already. i think. but next time comfirm will quarrel again. haha. we shall see how it goes this time. oh yeah. didnt see her new haircut. dont know how she will look like. hmm..i will just keep it in my heart this time. =DD
she coming my house later. got to borrow her lousy laptop to print stuff. then after that head to her house. i brought shampoo, wax, toothpaste, toothbrush along too. HAHA. miss using my own toothbrush and shampoo. dont worry baby. i got 2 toothbrush at home.

shall go xbox awhile. very long didnt xbox-ed. bye!

2008-11-12T03:38:00.000+08:00

AM I LOUSY FRIEND AND A BOYFRIEND?

GONNA SHUT DOWN MY HP SOON...

2008-11-12T00:03:00.003+08:00

THIS WORLD IS WEIRD!
you, kj and friends.
i refuse to believe in karma.
firstly, i help jy take the blame for theft.
ended up? he treat his gf more important than anything.
secondly, i treat kj so damn bloody good.
ended up? he treat me as if i'm nothing.
thirdly, i treat my 4 friends like gold.
ended up? they treat me as if i'm just passing by.
forthly, i treat chiwen like my everything. giving up time for my other friends.
ended up? she say i treat her like shit.

what is this!?

the reason why i keep staying your house even thought i have probation
cause i want to spend everyday with you.
cause i cant stand my family. shouting and giving me attitude everyday.
have you realised that even thought i was out and my VPO came. i still dont bothered?
have you realised that i love to joke and make fun of everything because i dont want to be serious all the time?

so what if i didnt say sorry to you? does it really matter so much? is not like i have another girl outside or i have done something that is hard to forgive. you are still young. you dont have to worry about so many things. i'm a guy. i have alot of other shit to think about. have i ever throw my temper at you first? just because i write some stuff in my blog you get angry. have you ever think before you get angry?

if you want a fight BRING IT ON.

2008-11-11T19:09:00.002+08:00

HENG! almost forgot i got to meet my officer today. =D
sian. probation really sucks. HMG! faster go in army then no need care already.
oh yea. a text msg from ng chiwen and me.
chiwen: cant you just say sorry?
daryl: i already said sorry to you just now.
chiwen: then why must you throw my wallet on the table?
daryl: angry mahs. then i didnt know you things will fly. so since already fly just act angry only lo.
chiwen: LOL. WTF!
yah. anyway, i'm still piss at her. she told me she flirting. i thought she was kidding. but i guess she really flirting cause she just called me and ask where is alex shop(a hair stylish). i think her friend edmond, boonchew or dont know who she is with. sian. home alone. wanted to bring her go eat EN. but she reply so late. then kp me. aiya dont care her already.

i think the best way when you qurral with your girlfriend is just act angry first. i used to do that to my past girlfriend. no matter who right or wrong, just act angry first. then they will be scare. HAHAHA. but that stupid pig face. i angry, she get angrier. LOL. then i choose not to care. today also not my fault i dont know why i say sorry for fuck. i just kidding say she look damn ugly then she blow up. siao. must admit the fact and face reality. LOL..i hope she doesnt read. LOL.

anyway, today class cancel. postpone to friday. CSO haven start yet. so might be able to work for the time being. LOL..tml meeting BESTI pass him stuff. cause he need the clothes to book out. better not make spoil my shoe and belt. hahaha. then we going EN to eat. hahaha. without that pig face. cause she working. tml again home alone. haha. byebye!

2008-11-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

HMG! haven been blogging lately. been at her house for like 3weeks already. LOL. think i abit siao already. anyway, i spent like so much already. got to cut down on the princess. today she got a scolding from me in the afternoon cause she whole day only want to go eat restaurant. ended up eating pastamania. LOL! then at night kana scolded by me again. or sort of quarrel la. cause she was crying at my place. then i ask her whats wrong she didnt want to say. but i roughly guess is because of her mom. but as we slept. i felt that maybe i did something wrong. but i was bloody tired. so i cant be bothered to think anymore and go to bed. wanted to play mahjong. but ruth says she is tired from work and want to sleep. and when i come to my 2nd home. i found her watching naruto from chi wen. haha. anyway, she sleeping downstairs now. so left andrew and chiwen. dont know they want to play anot. i dman entu about mahjong. i think without mahjong i can die. haha. cause i'll get addicted to it once i start playing. HMG! i hope they play later lo. =(( anyway, maybe tml go hiking or rock climbing. depending on andrew and hilary. hilary the face got rashes. sian. i guess tml might be another boring day. wah. if chiwen likes to play mahjong hen shiok already. haha. everyday mahjong only. i dont mind actually. anywa, just hope they play later. bye!

2008-11-03T14:57:00.007+08:00

i dont know why there is a hole in the middle. haha. anyway. cool eh the pic? LOL. was waiting for pig face to go skate. damn bored. haha. that nicole damn funny. run home to go msn and talk with me. kids ah. hahahaha.

2008-11-02T13:12:00.002+08:00

baby. am sorry about ytd. i finally have tasted the feeling of losing you. although its my own thinking. but it feel terrible. i didnt thought i would cry so much in front of so many people. and for no reason. i vomitted my blood out for the first time. the feeling was unbearable. i guess after all. losing you is the last thing i want now. sorry hilary for spoiling you and andrew's night. LOL.
i hope going escape today would be more fun. haha. and baby. we got to mahjong someday. =)

BTW, the 4 of us went to eat thai food yesterday. aint very good. lol. lazy to upload photo. waiting for that girl to blog hen leech the photos. kk. cheers!

2008-11-01T14:35:00.002+08:00

what are friends for? i often asked myself
well...knowing your friends take time.
i really cant be bothered with my friends anymore.
you treat them like the last friend you will ever have,
but they treat you as just a nobody.
some friends of mine keep thinking i have ill intention towards them.
others think i want to bring a fight to them and play some lousy pranks.
i really dont want to be stress out because of them. so i choose not to be bothered.
i want to spend time on people who treat me the same way as i treat them.
who doesnt think that i have ill intention or bring a fight to them.
i just want to enjoy every moment and outing with them.
but i guess only randy understands me in the end.
if you guys want to think that the post is i write. then so be it okay?
cause if there is no trust and thinks that i have ill intention.
then let our friendship ends here.

its so sad to hear that word coming from you.
i thought our friendship was strong.
but i guess its my own thinking after all.
if one day you need someone.
i promise you.
i wont be there.

2008-10-30T06:16:00.003+08:00

HOLD MY GOD!!! baby coming home TODAY!!! hahahaha. faster coach later then time pass fast. she would be back at 9plus. ytd damn heng. i slept like 7plus. then she called me at 10.05pm. and i woke up at 10.06pm. LOL! if not i wont be able to talk to her. ruth want to play mahjong sial. LOL! i think i staying baby house today. 8pm got some talk at nicky work place. sian. i promise him, i will go cause he played mahjong with me. dammit. LOL! anyway, i found a stupid picture of baby. haha. think she gonna kill me. alright. i shall go prepare for my lovely student. OMG! they so cute can. take number from me. then ask me go play basketball. hahaha. i told them i bring them go watch movie next week. we shall see how eh. HMG! she is damn cute!!!! LOL!

2008-10-29T18:51:00.001+08:00

super dupa extra tired. haha. just came back from 2 coaching. wah piang. the first one is okay. the second one damn sian. i damn lazy to blog now. anyway, wanted to buy a ticket in advance but cannot. so sad. going to sleep soon. byebye. baby coming home tml. cannot wait.

2008-10-29T00:56:00.003+08:00

HOLD MY GOD! i dreamt of baby. lol. i was playing mahjong with clicks. and waiting for her to come. lol. i cannot sleep! baby!!!! faster sit bus back. ask the driver to chiong! lol. i think thursday after my session with nick then i fly go her house already. cant tahan.

2008-10-28T21:51:00.003+08:00

just came back from a great day i must say. haha. in the morning i went for CSO. then that person told me to go in one room and wait for stuff to be done. i ended up sleeping. then i freaking tired. and feel like lieing down. cause its damn hard to sleep on the chair. i ended up bluffing him say my grandma in hospital got to leave. and i went KJ hosue to sleep. haha. then slept until 4 headed down to sengkang to meet kelvin. he is my ex godpa. lazy to tell the story. haha. he brought me to SPA at yishun safra club. haha. pretty nice. i wanted to take pics but was pai seh. so i ended up taking one pic only. haha. the picture of the bed i laid. HAHA. then went kovan to eat frog leg porridge.

HOLD MY GOD! my miss my baby alot. i miss hugging her to sleep. making all sorts of weird noises to irritate her. playing mahjong with the noob her. trying to find excuses to go smoke. hahaha. i think i gonna fly to her house on thursday. help her unpack her stuff. then fly to her bed on friday night. hahaha. i totally have no appetite to eat. miss her dearly. we were talking on the phone yesterday before she reach check point. then suddenly the line cut off. wah. that feeling sucks man. luckily she text me using her dad hp. haha. i hoped she enjoy herself instead of thinking something eles then cry. i dont want to see her cry. i guess she needs alot more time. well..baby. i will always be here. and wear your lousy sweater to sleep, dont catch a cold.

coaching in the morning and afternoon tml. SHIOK! haha. i dont want to do CSO. freaking boring. i was telling martin.

daryl: dont call chiwen, she in genting. so wont be able to coach.

martin: wah. how you know? wah wah. (ang background: wah wah wah)

daryl: huh? no la. i called her and ask she wants to coach. then she say going genting.

martin: uh uh uh. you ah.

then all the background of ang voice come out. hahaha. super funny. well. gonna 3G that little girl later. i mean now. haha. so byebye.

my sneaky photo of the bed at SPA. =D

2008-10-27T10:06:00.003+08:00

boo! at baby's house. haven been blogging lately. damn lazy. well, i spend most of my time at baby house and with her this past week. i think we 2 damn funny ytd. cause i was kind of pissed at something then in the end it was all a misunderstanding. haha. anyway, she going genting tml till thursday. hias. sian. well. thats my update. got my baby into my life. enjoy the pictures. =D

aint she sweet? LOL

2008-10-19T19:21:00.002+08:00

had a chalet ytd. it was edwin gf chalet. she's celebrating her 21st bird day. i didnt realised it was her bird day till like 3am? haha. pretty blur eh. we played a lot, drank alot. not me. sherwin and jy. then sherwin was drunk like a pig. hahaha. we played blackjack. then lost alot. i lost 80bucks. but i not gonna pay jy back. hahahaha. i lazy to blog. think mahjong later. bye!

i felt something that night. did you?

2008-10-17T14:51:00.002+08:00

lol. i feel like blogging. well..ytd played mahjong with bert,his friend and chi wen. haha. i damn sway. i think dong fong i kana bao already. $60. damn sian. i was singing song at first. after that i silent already. heng i covered back in the end. no win no lose. chiwen lost $20. and bert lost $60. fucking idiots. his pattern alot one. i dont know if he cheated or not but i heck care. anyway, i shall tell you guys about my dream. haha. i was in a swimming compeition. and i have a MAID. haha. i ended up waking up cause my head pain. omg. my hp bill haven clear yet. got to take money form mother already. hahahaha. randy booking out later. staying his place for the night. then tml chalet. haha. i know it sounds alttle fun. but am feeling damn sian. throat pain. haha. bye.

2008-10-15T20:36:00.002+08:00

they say I look like a bunk. do I?
the 3 retard kings waiting for me.

coached this few days. the kids are so fun. haha. i was kind of flirting with the primary school girls. keep disturbing them. hahaha. damn funny. kids these days are more open minded, or should i say, more polluted. yeah. today after coach. i think 10 of us went to makan. then after that ang, chiwen,marcel,shawn,jocelyn and ryan i think. haha. yah. we went to play lan. haha. okay..the way the two girls play super funny. we played battlefield 2 first. then at one part, i and ang keep killing our own teammates. basically just ramming over the 2 girls. hahaha. then CS. but ang got to leave early. wanted to cab home, but still got the peak hour charge. so sat 155 home since there is a direct bus. haha. i wont be blogging often now. sian1/2 already.mum cooking chicken wing for me! haha. i dont have strenght after shouting at the kids. next week 3 more days. SAME KIDS AND SCHOOL. FUN FUN FUN. bye.

2008-10-13T18:31:00.002+08:00

TIRED! SUPER!

just came home from coaching. today my first day at inline culture. not bad. haha. woke up like 5.15A, took a bus to katong shop and wait for ang to pick me up. i was super piss last night. i slept like 1AM cause just came home from granny house. then 2plus bert call me. twice. i didnt pick up. then came a msg. then 4plus my sis call me ask me open door for her. then i super piss already. i scream all the F la. B la. C la. all the ABC all come out. until i think my dad woke up. haha. then i go back sleep. btw, i scream in my room. super piss. already not enough sleep then all come disturb me. was suprise to see CHI WEN there as well. while i was waiting for that late ANG. he made me wait like 30mins. then went some school at yishun. shit. forgot the name of the school. near navel base. pretty fun. haha. got girl 'zu' me sial. @_@ touched! hahahaaaa..tml we heading to sembangwan. dont know whick school. then the coaching end about 12. ate with afew inline guys and played lan for awhile. haha. i OWN CS. not say OWN la. 2nd best. but my kill all headshot. hahaha. then they thought i very lousy. but ice-world totally own. cause most of the time i played ice-world with gang. haha. gonna cut my hair soon. i know i said like a long time. TML TML. think i cuting mohawk or alike. haha. my hair freaking like ugly now. waiting for my mum to get me dinner then go orh orh already. BYE!

2008-10-12T00:20:00.002+08:00

met up with Mr. CD randy toh. haha. guess his life in CD hasnt been so bad afterall. heard he was going to take some course to become an officer. still long way. haha. then i told him. imagine two officer go out. one CD and one SAF. then he must call me sir. hahaha. yup. i chionging officer. so ended up meeting darren as well. he went for a haircut. haha. damn punk. i forgot to take photo of his hair. but i find that it doesnt really suit him. too punk already. the PUNK DARREN. haha. we played dota. AGAIN. its never boring. today abit off form. keep getting killed. nevertheless, we still owned the match. damn zai. then saw some chiobus there. they were like sitting behind me. but too bad. bunch of ah lians. =D maybe catching a movie with randy toh tml. not sure yet. shall go play my x box already. just gotten a new R-34. hahaha. BYE!

2008-10-11T00:21:00.001+08:00

how nice if i was in lalaland forever. =)
how nice if everything was not a dream. =)

seriously, idk why i suddenly started thinking of her. i wanted to tell her that i stop what i used to do in the past. that i was a changed person but i guess it doesnt change anything at all. i dont even know how to talk to her properly. i have nothing but her on my mind everyday. how i wished upon anything eles that she could love me the way i love her. i dont ven mind being her spare tire as long as i dont know. i feel that its a waste of time writing in my blog. but my dog is sleeping in my parents room. if not i always talk to surfie. as least i know surfie loves me. jeslin ho jia ling. i wonder if the day come whereby you could say you love me. but i guess its just all one sided.

2008-10-09T22:25:00.002+08:00

had dota and mahjong session yesterday. damn fun. the dota i mean. there's two bastard child who cheated when we are playing mahjong. but they didnt cheat so much. juts cant stand people who play by cheating. ps: not those two friends of mine. cause we were playing small and hilarous. imagine someone naked playing with you during your mahjong. seriously felt like vomiting. anyway, we talked about other people after our game. then heard how 'smelly' they were when playing mahjong. yucks. true skills dude. hahaha. after that someone didnt want to send me home after we played like until 10am? so i had to sit a cab back. then they uncle damn irritating. i didnt slept for the whole day and he was like chatting with me. asking me what i just did. then suddenly he talked about girls and sex. and whether i had 'eaten' any girls all this. so i just bullshit back to him. with my eyes close. hahaha.

dont know if pussy randy is coming out tml. haha. xm is back from her lousy bintan trip. tml i guess there will be another dota match. my team's been winning non-stop. although we lost 1 game ytd but we won 2 games back. trash. LOL. =D oh yea. today idk why. so many peple calling me to ask if i want to work. first, inline asked me if i want to coach. then one day 2 hours can earn $50. so i think not bad. then later nick ask if i want to work as what trading and all. say he two weeks earn $2000 already. but i kind of lazy to do that type of job. cause got to talk alot. hahaha. i like easy money. then no need do so much stuff. then there is some unknown numbers miss called on my hp. so didnt really bother to return the call.

aint she cute?

2008-10-07T00:39:00.003+08:00

i have decided not to go to her blog anymore. i guess i have been lieing to myself about how her blog would make me smile and laugh. well, i guess i was wrong after today. i was so afraid that somehow, she will write about some other guys name and all. i was so afraid to know that am just another guy to her. i was feeling really really depressed after i saw what she write about her ex today. 1 year...and she still haven gotten over him. i guess i understand how huifang feels after all. i had to admit. but i really dont have a chance with her at all. i used to think that i might have a chance with her but i guess i was wrong. how i wished i could say this to her like some guys do. "if you love the person, as long as she is happy, you will be happy" but i cant. i couldnt take it or imagine she being with other guys. i really love her alot. so, i decided not to go to her blog or text her. but i will still be standing here, hoping for a miracle to happen. i guess i could say that i love and hate this feelings. i never felt like this before. going completely out of it because of a girl. if there is another jeslin out there. a twin. i guess i could call it a miracle.

2008-10-06T16:49:00.002+08:00

i had one of the most scary dream of my life. haha. i dreamt that i was being chase by the military guys. and i killed alot of them. then i ran away in a cab. and the general was chasing after me. i was so scared to die. haha. and the dream is seriously damn realistic. i was sweating and my whole leg was numb when i woke up. damn frightening. =(

randy going in CD tml. sian. wanted to go out with him today. but he had driving lesson. therefore, i'm home alone again. was chionging INITIAL D anime this few days. its seriously damn nice. it sucks being single. haha. seriously.

well, xm had gone to bintan to do CIP. met her last night with one of her friend. i forgot her friend's name. i have STM. so sorry. hahaha. then xm told me to stay longer cause ziqi coming. but my aunty rushing me to go up and continue my mahjong. i wonder what xm will buy back for me. haha. she better buy something back for me.

feeling restless. bye.

2008-10-05T01:35:00.003+08:00

just came back from mahjong at grandma house. haha. wanted to meet xm and go sepang slack after her work. but i promised my ah ma i play mahjong with her. and end up i lost 20plus. damn. i played with 3 old ladies. my grandma, her sister and her younger cousin. i think 3 of them add up can reach 200 years old. hahaha. i didnt lose the most. my grandma's sister lost 100 i think. damn ke lian when i see her face. haha. luckily my grandma won. =D i seriously cannot imagine me losing my grandma. i already lost one grandma. and both i love so much. cause one was damn protective of me and the other is damn cute. hahaha.

finally got back on my track a little. but this few days i kept thinking of her. and i seriously dont know what to say to her even thought i would do anything just to talk to her again. i seriously dont know why i love her so much. randy told me to faster go in army so that i wont be thinking too much. but i think when i go in army and think of her. i will just burst into tears in the middle of the night. HAHA. i want to get my licence soon so that maybe she would allow me to drive her to school. but i doubt she will cause she doesnt even bothers about me. =(( whatever her reply towards me is either no or idk. what eles can i do right? is either give her up or get a new girl. but i tried and i cannot do that. so how? eat shit and die? oh yeah! thats my favourite phrase when i a, scolding people in dota matches. haha. i think damn lame and damn funny. alright. shall go bath now. byes.

study hard and get good results. all the best. hope you are able to pass your EOY. dont give up.

2008-10-03T15:34:00.003+08:00

was kind of bored so decided to blog eh.

meeting up with gang later. i dont know what to say to that jk when i see him. guess i will just keep quiet. =D but i guess we are getting better although we didnt said a word to each other. but i can feel that. haha. i dont know if i should go to my cousin birthday party later. its in town too. some club house. he is celebrating his 21st birthday. and my sis is asking me to stay over. i dont even know if am going. but my aunty comfirm spam my hp if they didnt see me there. they will like"aiyo....so long never see him...what happen to him? why didnt come?" and my mother will like faster save my arse and say i working or something. haha. standard. we'll see. if there's nothing to do then maybe i will head down. anyway, am going to be near ps there.

that miss ang damn bodoh. ask her take MC for today so she can rest at home. then she dont want. then morning ask me take for her. so ma fan. haha. anyway, its just downstairs my house but i still have to change and go down. its troublesome. you should treat me to a big dinner or something. haha. anyway, ytd her house got clinic she didnt want to go. she say want to go my house there cause she didnt want to go home early. haha. dumbo.

am getting bored bored bored. that stupid xm wanted to chat with her. then chat awhile she say want to go shit. shit come back talk abit then she say she needed to go bras basar to do somthing and later jurong. haha. i guess after her chicken poxy recover already then she became a flying bird already. staying at home is bored right xm? should mahjong before i go in army eh? let me win your money and eat ba chor mee at 85. hahaha.

oh yeah. at least my long researching paid off. hahaha. now the presence is getting stronger. caused i found those songs. quite pleased at myself for finding those songs. haha. i think i should be a investigator or something. i always dreamt that i was FBI after watching those FBI show. or those secret police with a high rank. damn shiok. i thought of applying a job being a policeman. but i think again and decided not to. i mean its SINGAPORE. and i dont want to protect singapore. they are like 2 headed snake. i dont know how to explain that. you must hear my days and months of crapping about singapore then you will understand. haha. but its really cool if i could be like some secret police eh? haha. imagine me being a mole inside. like infernal affairs. kk....i gotta be realistic. haha. its no harm building castle in the air once in awhile eh.

byebye! bathing soon. =D

2008-10-02T21:08:00.004+08:00

woke up like 5plus am today. i think cause i sleep like the whole day the day before. haha. so the timing all abit screwed up. went to tampines to collect all my moneys. =DD meet up with miss ang and watched eagle eye. pretty nice show but its like all the movies nowadays, you are able to guess the ending or the story line already. bought a new ear piece with the favourite colour. haha.

keep thinking of you today. idk why. didnt have to mood to do anything from the moment i start thinking of you. i guess all i do now is listen to the songs you listen so that i could feel your presence. you played a big part in my life this year and i really wished that someday, you could brighten up the rest of my life with your smile, your laughter, your nonsense, you chitty-chat mouth and the midget you. i guess am gonna hold on to you till i dont have the strength to hold on anymore.

i did a dumb thing yesterday. haha. i went to your friendster and searching for you ex throught all the comments posted but couldnt find it in the end. but i saw some idiots comments. and i was thinking to myself. am i like them? truth to be told. i hate to be common people. something like i hate to go with the flow. like most people do A i will do B. something like that. idk why also. and moreover the people who send you the f up comments are like ah bengs? and i really really hate people like them. and i really really didnt want to be like them. hmm...i think you guys will like huh? is daryl abit sot sot tay. haha.

anyway, am sleepy already. off to lalaland. byes!

2008-10-01T05:13:00.004+08:00

you never fail to make me smile whenever i read your post. =D

its been a great and not so great night i must say. well, the great thing is played dota and hang out with friends the whole night till the next morning? LOL. mother always used to say, come home early eh? well, morning=early. haha. guess some of you might not get it. and the not so great part is, you beginning to be a torn in my flesh. i seriously cannot stand your attitude towards me. i kept silent the whole night so that i would not go crazy you know. dont make me turn my back on you. say i'm shallow or whatever. go and think about your actions before you start spitting your so called brilliant words out. >:(

and stop saying that people dont understand when you didnt even explain yourself. or issit you are lost at words and didnt know what to say. so your last resort is "you dont understand lah" or issit people are too stupid to understand what your trying to say cause you are too smart. oh i forgot! the brilliant english spoken person is YOU. and i'm the barbaric guy who doesnt know anything. who only resorts to violence. and if i didnt change to be a better man or friend than i was before. you would have been in the hospital tonight and our friendship is like a broken chopstick. get that in your freaking skull!

shall cut my frigging hair soon. its getting longer and longer and longer. i think my hair grow damn fast siol. and my leg is freaking stinko from the stupid rain. shall go dip dip it with my baby johnson shampoopoo. =DD

2008-09-30T00:30:00.002+08:00

tell me. have you ever loved and lost somebody? wishing there was a chance to say i'm sorry to you. i guess whatever i do or say. the impression of me is still there. i cant seem to forget you. and i dont want to forget you. you see jeslin. i dont want you to be just a memory of my past. i want you to be the memory of my future. i really hoped all the dreams i had in future would have you inside. even if we are together in my dreams, i would be happy too. at least, everyday i get to see you in lalaland.

didnt nothinging today. rotting at home. but i have learnt a new skill from randy toh. quite powerful. haha. alright. bye.

loving someone is easy.
letting go is hard.

2008-09-29T12:20:00.002+08:00

the only time i get to see you was in my dreams. and even in my dreams you refuse to talk to me. it brings me down. what am i to do? your still deep within me.

sorry huifang. its just that. we dont really suit each other. no matter how many times i tell you. in the end, it wills till be back to square one. i dont know whats wrong with you yesterday. but it seems like you were damn despo, and i hate those types of girls. althought i know you're not like that. but to be honest. am really sorry. cause i really love jeslin alot.

2008-09-27T17:26:00.002+08:00

it made me realised about something.

aint everyone is perfect.
we got to love the disadvantages of you.

2008-09-27T17:09:00.002+08:00

stop confusing me.
why do i still love you
why do i still miss you now and then?
why there's a sour feeling whenever i think of you?
why must we be kept a distance away?
i want to wrap my arms around you.

jeslin.

2008-09-26T03:17:00.001+08:00

its time to leave you behind.
i guess i just made another mistake in my life..
that was falling in love with you..
i guess we all had to go different paths..
thats why i wont remember you..
cause you are nothing but another person..

2008-09-26T03:07:00.004+08:00

went to watch mirrors yesterday with miss ang. its pretty nice. just that the ending was abit stupid. every ghost show that had came out. usually their endings are stupid. as in, like the story didnt even. the ghost didnt/haven died or the person became the ghost. standard. but the show is nice so just watch it. haha. and somemore is $6 only. haha. then went to find JY playing badminton. they lost every game. haha. lousy papaya. but JY was sick. haha. damn funn.y then we saw someone played like a sissy. i took a video but deleted it anyway. sister was good today. bought me fishball soup. wah. like once in the blue moon she will buy for me without me asking her to buy. somemore treat me eat. my english today abit broken eh. idk why. lazy to write in proper sentence. anyhow, this are some really stupid pictures of me and miss ang. realised i dont know how many 1000 years didnt upload a photo. =D i used to love pictures storybook when i was a kid. =D ciaosthis crazy girl keep talking to me about babys' the whole day.

2008-09-23T21:54:00.002+08:00

HIHI! life's getting better. i guess one person could really do alot of things. thanks miss ang. well, she came my house the day before. we talked alot alot. then she followed me to counseling and something came up after my counseling. i must admit. augustine is really a master handgun. really. i lazy to talk about it. but in the end, all thanks to randy,kj and ME! all turn out well. haha. we had our mighty steamboat. wah. its really worth it when money jumps out of your pocket. but its cool. we manage to hide a few things like my wonderful red chili and the tom yam cube. haha. we headed to randy house after getting the food. august was the first to eat finish. freaking useless. but before that he ate old chang kee. then darren followed by kj and miss ang. haha. after my smoke. i and randy carry on with like 30 meatballs in the boat. haha. i ate until i feel yucks. then randy stop soon after. haha. i was so full and tired that i slept on the sofa. the best part of the steamboat is there's only one mini bowl of rice for me. wth right? randy didnt cook more rice. to me rice is freaking important. haha. and best part. no ice for the drinks! @_@ call himself a host. hahaha. i think he will come and scold me. and i think he dont want to be a host anymore. because, we didnt help him wash after steamboat. hahaha. we quickly chiong out of his house. by then its was like 11pm. sorry randy. my mother ask me go home hang clothes. =D angster came my house till about 3am. and i was sleeping like a pig then. didnt really know what's going on in my house.

today! haha. i stayed at home the whole day. didnt go CSO again. i got a warning. OMG. i still left like 70hours? 66hours to be exact. haha. sian. then miss wong came my house. talk alot of stuff about family. then sent her down and talk again. hahaha. ciaos. i guess am going for a movie tml. if not i can die. like 1000000years never walk into cinema. i guess its too expensive. sucks. i HATE SINGAPORE. HAHA! byebye. btw, put your name in the tag-board if you want to tag. dont leave nasty comments cause i dont give a fuck. if you cant be bothered what i write then dont come in my OBVIOUS REASON SPILLS in the first place. hahaha.

2008-09-22T07:38:00.001+08:00

oh yeah! i found someone the same pattern as you sial huifang. haha. damn funny. i think gone case one. not you lah. i mean she. =D ciao! cranky me. =DDD

2008-09-22T07:32:00.005+08:00

WHOO!! just came back from a wonderful dota game. i was at home today the whole day cause gang didnt call me to go down play dota at DOME. fuck sial. was rather pissed at them. so i slacked at home till like 10? then i went HIGH to meet jy instead. haha. played like 3 round dota. but considered 1 round cause i keep leaving the 2 games. wahaha. they was damn pissed. i gave excuse like, eh, my com suddenly hang sial. idk why. haha. then they fucked up. then i had not enough cause my LUNA was OWNING. hahaha. so we went sepang bedok to eat. the bloody chicken wing damn nice. but i dont know why today got to wait so long. then bert came back. so me,sherwin,bert and jy went DOME. haha. cause 24hour. wah. SHIOK. we from 3am played till 7am. haha. shiok sial. my LUNA damn power. then end up different team with yang. he one time finger death me i died. but last game. i and bert trashed them. hahaha. POWER EH? xm, you should play dota. its damn fun. then ask mel play also. i wanna challenge her clan. haha. OH YEA! my noodle has been on the table for like 10pm till now. sorry mother. haha. i go eat now. Hmm...abit cranky eh? cause my head splitting like coconut for 3 days. idk why. damn fucking pain. but can ren. hahaha. byebye! not going for CSO later. =D

ADDICTed to DOTA and you.

2008-09-21T21:49:00.003+08:00

bored! its weird. when am working. people keep asking me out. and when am not working, people dont ask me out. stupid arse eh. and my head is splitting like a coconut this 2 days. freaking pain. its like someone is cracking open your head and skull. OMG! i think i have brain cancer lo. hahahaa. serious. thats the result of super late night sleep. like 11am in the morning go lalaland. haha. stupid eh? no mood to work nowadays. so haven been working like 3weeks. money is depleting. how how? haha. abit crazy eh. byebye.

i still miss you. miss msging you. miss hearing your voice when i irritate you. =(

2008-09-18T19:03:00.002+08:00

do I deserve a second chance?

it feels like the end of days of me these dew weeks. haven got the mood to go to work. cant sleep properly. can someone tell me what to do? i thought everything is gonna be fine. but i guess i was wrong, its not fine at all. i feel that i'm getting more and more crazy as each day passes. what am I to do?

someone told me that this is a karma. but i seriously dont believe in karma. i guess there is a day where everyone falls down. but i cant seem to get up on my feet. my legs are tired. my body is weak. if i were to exchange everthing. i would give my life. it isnt about being mature or immature. is how the way you look at things. you got it all wrong. then i ask you back. if a guy in his 30s race on a singapore road, does it shows that he is immature too? its illegal to speed. you tell me how?

i guess now aug and me are fucked up. cheer up aug b.

2008-09-14T22:10:00.002+08:00

think i got to pace me up and get back in track. dammit. i seriously hate ,yet. sometimes i wonder, why izzit the girls that i love, i couldnt be with them. while those girls i dont love, chase me. i sometimes wish that they could change. is that my karma? i dont believe in karma. if jeslin was my gf. i willing to quit STTR. i seriously do. i dont want to play with another girl just for the sake of being with her. its meaningless.

take yaoyao for example. i already fuck up her life. i dont want another girl to be like her. i'm already down on my knees. head on the floor. begging you to give me a chance, but you just wont. i'm lost. i'm cold. i'm like a living dead. but i dont know. i think that killing would only vent my anger for awhile. i already done alot of things and i think that you wont like. i dont want to be an irritating person in your eyes. got myself a gucci shoe. prada T-shirt. LV belt. but so what? there's an emptiness inside me.

fuck it.

2008-09-13T06:10:00.003+08:00

just came back from outing with sherwin.aug,kj and randy. well, i went to change my bag with JY at herren. end up didnt go club cause i really feel its no point wasting money. and what? people go there to sleep with girls and dance. fun mehs? so i decided to go hui yi meet sherwin, freedy,edwin and wan rong. they drank a barrel tiger. i think i only drank 2 cups at first. then after that they went out to smoke and buy ciggy. left me alone, enjoying the music.

then there's this waitress came. her name was laura. we talk talk then after that sherwin came back and she went another table. haha. then i ended up drinking with her when she came back to our table. i ended up drink like 5 or 6 cups. then i went out to relax. caus ei seriously hate drinking beer. then after awhile she came out and she asked for my number. cause she want to drink martell with me next time. then we left for park lane, pick up randy,aug and kj. we wanted to play lan but they dont have membership card. and i only can bring one person in, so ended up slacking around. haha. we like drive around for 2hours. so kind of relaxing day lah.

well, your the 2nd girl then i really really love alot. but it seems you doesnt even show abit of concern or what. i guess you just wanted to bring friends with me. i think i know something about myself and girls. they more i fucked care the girl, the more she likes me. and whwn i show them alot of concern and all, the more they kept their distance. i mean i really dont understand girls now. sometimes i admire my friends. they still can like have fun and play with girls cause they dont even have any ex like that. i think its pretty cool. unlike me, i played with girls till i dont know what the hell they are thinking. somemore its the first time i chased a girl with the age gap. i guess she have her own thinking and i have my own. like what jing yang and sherwin told me. at that age and the age is different thinking. but i told them one thing. i cant help but keep falling for you. i didnt want to give up but i dont know what to do as well. and i seriously shows no interest in other girls. just let nature takes it course? cause i dont even dare to ask you out anymore. so how? wendy told me to give her up as well. but i cant help it. so yu tell me how? or you're like randy, just want people to fall for you thats all? thats all i have to say to you. you want to respond to me, i will be grateful to you. so i can get my life back on track rather than sleepless nights. its been a long time since i have been like this, and i hate this feeling. are you seriously that blur and innocent or are you just avoiding and cant be bothered? huh jeslin?
i seriously lost all directions in life.

2008-09-12T08:46:00.002+08:00

haven been sleeping for like 26 hours i think. haha. i dont kno whwy. just now played mahjong with JY and WENDY. omg. we like played for fun. end up i lost freaking 30cents. then WENDY clear chips. hahaha. she sucks at mahjong, i swear. yah. we played 3 people only cause i ask my sis to buzz off. hahaha. i think we are going clubbing later. never been to club cause i hate it. but since its the first time, so just have a look eh?

and fuck! my bag the zip spoil. fuck up. i knew this kind of bag the zip fucked up. but its too tempting thats why i bought it. it seriously is damn nice lah. hahaha. think am going town to change it later. stupid arse girl.

2008-09-11T02:27:00.002+08:00

what am i to you?

just came home after playing dota. pretty fun.

i guess she has someone in her heart that cant be replaced. i fucking hate this feeling that am having thats why i seldom chase girls so seriously. and even so, sometimes i feel that i dont deserve her. she doesnt even know me. and kept keeping a distance away. i seriously dont know what to do but just kept eating and eating. sleepless nights again. she doesnt even seem one bit interested in me and i kept acting as if nothing is happening. but i dont know. if a girl doesnt bothers in you, she doesnt want to meet up with you, she dont text you even thought she replies your msg, this shows only one thing. she cant be bothered whether you love her or not.
and i just found out there is someone in her heart, i dont know what to do anymore. my tears started to flow today. its been few months since i last cried my heart out. i dont want to let her go but i dont want to go on acting as if she does shows a little interest and lieing to myself. jeslin, if you read this can you like ask me to fuck off or something if you dont like me at all? every morning i dream of you. either at a pub or going out together and i always didnt want to wake up. how nice if i could live in the dream with you forever. you didnt want to meet me because your shy or simply dont want to? am scare to even ask you out now. so, tell me what to do? what am i to you? simply just a normal friend?

2008-09-10T20:29:00.001+08:00

you shut my door my life.

2008-09-10T03:20:00.002+08:00

slept at home till 5 today. am not a pig. cause i slept like 11 or 12pm. then woke up once in awhile. couldnt sleep at all. idk why. met up with gang at about 6pm. then dota. was kind of piss for going back early so i went to meet JY. haha. went to hui yi. i didnt drink cause i hate beer. its gives a disgusting taste to your mouth and it stays in your stomach. yucks. thats about it lah. not really in the mood these few days. haha. hopefully my gang can come up with something funny and bring the JR back. LOL.

2008-09-09T02:11:00.003+08:00

i wanted to post a description of my best friends but decided not to. and post some of my thoughts instead. some are hidden so sorry. =) the post is abit fucked up so best is not to read eh?

sometimes i wonder, have i became a changed person from before? i keep asking myself do i really love her? because i dont want to break another heart. nor do i want to keep changing gf. my friends sometimes calls me a flirt. i kept saying am not. but after i sat down and think i think i am. REASON: cause last time whenever i chase a girl, its like anyhow only. if she wants to be with me then be with me. dont want just fucked off. and to think of it now. my love life. i only love 3 girls in my life before. huifang, jasmine and jeslin. and i shall spill all out now. fuck. i dont even know if i want to post this out. maybe certain parts.

Huifang: the reason i broke up with her is because she doesnt have a mind on her own, too sensitive in EVERYTHING, doesnt trust me no matter what i said or do, keep comparing me with other guys, too childish, and usually what i would say to cover everything. fucked up. i guess i stayed with her so long because i seriously wanted to settle down with her already. i would say i did my part as a boyfriend already. i really try my best. guess we just doesnt suit each other.

Jasmine. i lazy to talk about her.

Jeslin. i dont think i will be with her based on my theory. but nevertheless, i dont know why she is the only girl in my life that i could find myself happy and laughing whenever i talk to her. ANYTHING. even thought those words would make me sad but i dont know why i find it so funny. to be honest. none of my friends said she is pretty and even i find her kind of ugly. but i just feel this feeling pulling me towards her. she's super cute and attractive from the way i see her. YES. last time i used to chased her. but it was like heck care type. but this time i dont know why the more i talk to her, the more i love her and love her and love her. i kept asking myself, do i love her? is she worth it? i didnt know last time. but now yes. she's worth it. i have this feeling of sour, sad and happiness each time i spoke with her. i dont know this kind of feeling and not even with huifang. and i guess she was the only girl that am willing to vomit out blood after like one zillion attempts of asking her out. and her answer would be idk or no. yah. i guess she can be irritating sometimes with the idk. but she still make me laugh in the end. it was she that make me couldnt sleep again. and i freaking hate the feeling of sleepless nights. and like i said before my post, i really would give anything just to hear her say how she feels. although i somehow know the answer would be idk or no. but i just want to hear it. yeah. my friends call me barbarian and violent but i dont know why i want to cry when she say those words. i really love her.

2008-09-08T13:22:00.002+08:00

BORED BORED BORED!!!

i have wasted $14 on cab doing nothing! damnit. went hougang to do CSO. but in the end i forgot to bring my paper so i didnt know where. after that went to jy house. then the dad came home and i left. ended up back home. and all my friends are sleeping like a PIG. ALL! i cannot believe it sial. except kj and darren schooling. luckily you kept me companyed. haha. thanks. think gonna grap something to eat. and am not leaving my house unless someone come to pick me up. seriously. am hungry!

2008-09-07T06:41:00.004+08:00

JUST FOR LAUGH! AUGA BOY!

is it nice?

today been a great day for ME!~
got myself alot of things. burberry polo. tokidoki T-shirt. ted baker T-shirt. G star jeans. haha. went out with JY and bert. damn cool. wanted to meet up with kj and randy but too late already. OH YEAH! i got myself a new bag. its super cool. i didnt know it was FOURSKIN(i hate the brand) until i making payment. then the girl pass me a fourskin bag. haha. then jy and bert saw some fuck up things. but she was standing in front of me and i didnt see! SIAN! @_@ oh yeah. then in front of the bag there is this sticker like thing. so i took 3 of my AX shirt the strap and pass on my bag. DAMN COOL! haha. tml am going to get one for her, if she finds it nice. seriously damn nice. i have been seraching for a similiar bag for ages. haha. and the stock that came in is limited. 4 only. thats what the girl told me. haha. then i ask her the most stupid question. i ask her if the bag is nice. hahahaha. i dont know why am so excited about my bag. damn cool. really.

oh yea. then we went to play dota till 4plus AM. hahaha. cause something happen to KJ and RANDY. then slack at hong kong cafe till 6plus and now am home. actually my main purpose is to post about my bag. damn cool damn cool. hahaha. i think my bag and mooncake can fight. wahahaha. CIAOZ! am going orh orh already. super tired.

2008-09-05T02:46:00.002+08:00

this is something i want to write for you and only you.
i dont know if you read what i post long long time ago about my bros and my ex. i used to say this. "bro/gf, if someone were to shoot a bullet at you, i would take the bullet for you" thats what i told them last time. "baby, i will love no one eles but you" thats what i said to my gf last time. "we will be the best of friends and nothing will bring us down" is what i said to my best friends.

today i learned something. it just came to me out of nowhere believe me or not. and i dont know what am about to say is true or false. i just go by the feeling inside me.

if someone really shoots a bullet at my besti or my gf. i really dont know if i would dive in to save them because it didnt happen. imagining things that happen and the things that you experience in real life is both different things. its like you listen to a CD and going to a real live concert, the atmosphere is different. its like what most people would say, if a car rushes at you, you would just dive and avoid it. but when it happens, you will just stand there and think what to do when your mind is blank. cause i nearly got run over by a car recently, luckily the car stop in time.

and if someone says to you that he/she loves you and only you. well, i think thats not true ,because you wouldnt know what you would think in the near future. and you cannot foresee the near future. i always believe this. and i believe that if you have trust in the relationship, you would just go on and not doubting what the near future brings. and if you say i love you to someone you love. it should be meant from the bottom of your heart at that time and not saying it just for the sake of saying it. if my KJ knew what am saying, he would knew why i gave the 8 boxes to her.

and to my besti: i seriously hoped that we could be best friends and go to each others wedding, being a VIP guest or sitting at a red table. bringing our kids and wife for some shopping. meeting up and catching up on weekends. but what we can do is imagine and hoped. being a couple or husband and wife, there is much giving and taking. that goes without saying for best friends as well. and we cant say that we will be best friends 10 years down the road. look at jy or javier? or even some of your long lost best friends. you might say something similar to them last time, how about now?

well...i guess some of you guys dont really understand what am saying. but seriously, we got to be realistic in this world especially Singapore. come on! if you want to hear sweet words, i bet every guys or girls even RETARDS can say sweet things to you. but i bet you, not everyone could face the ugly things they see or ugly words they hear. if someone told me all my bad habits and fucked me upside downs because of my idiotic action. i can tell you, he's not my enemy, he is my friend.

what choices we made now. affect our future. what decision or what we say, affect others in one way or another. what action we do, reflects on our self. therefore..after all these years. i only remember among the billions words my parents said to me. "think before you do" just 4 words and it describe so much. most people say action speaks louder than words. but i think that sometimes words speak louder than action. depending on the person who says this.

the other phase i would want to tell you. ignorance is bliss.

goodnights, Jeslin Ho Jia Ling

2008-09-05T00:40:00.002+08:00

just came back from senpang bedok. jy called me about 5pm and ask if i want to head down town. at the time i already feel like light up a stick. so i quickly say okay so that i wont think of smoking. haha. quickly went to have a bathe and soon sherwin came. then we headed down to ceni to do somethings.

i suddenly remember she was at taka. so i withdraw 20 bucks and pass to her to sit cab home. cause i think she's pretty tired. but in the end i think her dad picked her up.

goodnights guys.

kind of feeling fucked up now. idk why. i think it must be you. i seriously dont know what your feeling towards me. as in i dont want to know if you like me or what. just want to know if you find me irriating for msging and trying to meet you everytime anot. then you keep avioding me? if thats the word to use? i dont know man. to me, if you really dont want to see me, i rather you just tell me. but i dont know. thats why i just keep quiet.

2008-09-04T18:10:00.002+08:00

A POEM JUST FOR YOU

I still see your face in my dreams

It hurts and it doesn't help at all

I still want you in my life as crazy as that seems

I want you to catch me when I fall

I still remember the first time we met

There was something so different about you

Your friendship was something I wanted to get

That smile when you said hi to me was so new

Out of no where you called me on the phone

I wanted to sit there and talk to you forever

You were so new, so crazy and unknown

I just knew that our friendship would never sever

Two years and we are barely holding it together

What happened to the way this all used to be

I never wanted you out of my like ever

I sat there for a long time pretending not to see

We decided to go out and make it all all right

It didn't work out of course we knew it couldn't

We couldn't even really stand each others sight

It shouldn't end this way but it did and I shouldn't

I miss you and everything you were to me

Ten years from now we will look back on it all

We will be older and finally be able to see

That love will stand the test of time and never fall

2008-09-04T13:57:00.002+08:00

was freaking drunk yesterday. haha. the 3 of us sort of finish one bottle martell..darrena and pym didnt drink much eh. when to some pub in serengoon. i kind of like it cause there isnt much people. but one thing sucks is that their mixer is all can and bottle. kind of shit. haha. then after we drunk i could barely stand but still made it to the kopitiam with randy to have hor fun. aug,darren and pym went home. after eating i use all my last strength to climb the overhead bridge to wait for a cab. haha. luckily it was near my house. but by the time i reach home, i vomited the hor fun all out. then went to sleep till 1plus. woke up and have a chat and some food. then when back to sleep. its really dman hard to sleep. cause am not drunk and not sober. the feeling is like floating in the air but pretty uneasy feeling. haha. meeting randy soon. so takecares. =)

2008-09-03T12:01:00.002+08:00

hahaha. LEE KUAN JING AND AUGUSTINE, am gonna say goodbye to marlbour red and LM red. haha. am joining RANDY AND DARREN. i think the 5 of us should have 2 groups, one smoking kaki and non-smoking kaki. as the one who started the earliest, i will be the first to quit. =DD shocking eh?

2008-09-03T00:33:00.003+08:00

i think people might think that am crazy. posting and didnt want anyone to see. but i dont know. i just think that its my blog and i just want to read it on my own sometimes.

and here's the thing. i think many of my best friends or even jeslin herself might think that i want to be with her. but i guess you guys are wrong, especially my besti. guys, am not wanting to make her fall for me or be touched or whatever by giving her chocolates. its just, she wrote it in her blog and obviously i know its just joking. but something inside me tells me to give it to her be it she likes it or not. it just tell me to go get a few boxes for her. its just as simple as that. it didnt even cross my mind that once i gave it to her, she will like"wah!" then fall for me. then we are together. its not the case. i just want to give it to her. no other thoughts or motive. as simple as that. its just like giving a present to your mother without an occasion.

secondly, even if jeslin love me now. i dont want to be with her. i want her to feel the feeling of being chased, the feeling of being special and the feeling of love. guys, i know you will be laughing at me cause thats so secondary school. but you guys look back at me when i was in secondary. i was such a flirt although i didnt admit it. i didnt know the feeling of chasing a girl or coaxing a girl. you guys get the point? i know i used to say this. DONT READ ME LIKE AN OPEN BOOK CAUSE I AINT A FAIRYTALE. but i really want my gf and me to have a tale to talk about. to be proud about. to be able to tell others how we first met and all. i dont want my relationship now to be just a casual. put it in a ugly word. fuck and ditch her. i want it to almost perfect. and am trying very hard to make it happen. thats why sometimes i get pissed off when you guys says that i just want to chased jeslin or am doing too much. because you guys aint me. you guys dont know how i feel or what i want.

and i dont know if jeslin msn nick is talking about me. but if its so. i just want to tell you. am not making you feel touch. even if at the end of the day, you rejected me. i will still feel a little happy. cause at least there's one girl in my life that makes me go to a extend to do so much things for her. and i'm very serious about quiting smoking. no girl ever made me quit smoking before except for one which made me quit for 3 months. and i really want to show you how special jeslin is to me, and i dont know how to do that but quit the thing i kind of like the most. smoking. sometimes i feel so so so so lost. because i never really chased a girl before and i dont know what am doing is right or wrong. whether its irritating or not. whether she likes or doesnt. and sometimes i wonder if am doing all this for who? she doesnt seem interested in my life or what i do. sometimes i just feel an emptiness inside me. i think KJ knows what am talking about. this emptiness. it really makes one go crazy to the max. and i really really want to know how you feel towards me. i meant fuck. your blog doesnt even writes about me. and i try to meet you every time, i dont know if she hates it or what. and i dont want to be an elephant skin. but sometimes i just want to see her smile in front of me. idk why. but end of the day. i still want to say this. i will try to love you my whole life jeslin ho jia ling.

2008-09-02T22:08:00.004+08:00

uhmm..kind of not in the mood to blog. so yeah. feeling lost and lost and lost. yet, sometimes i dont even know or realised what i had done or been doing. so near yet so far. takecares.

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings

But I know you are here with me now

We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away

But I know that this much is true

We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right

And though I can’t be with you tonight

And know my heart is by your side

Daniel Bedingfield: If Your Not The One

2008-08-31T23:43:00.002+08:00

BOO! hahaha! as usual. woke up for work. didnt know why was super hyper at work. haha. luckily, it didnt rain. it almost rained! haha. and we only open section 1 and 2. shiok. wasnt very busy, but it aint not busy as well..its wrongly put i think but who cares? haha.xander was a funny man i realised. today he kept talking to me about girls boobs.

xander: "daryl, you see the girl in strip pants. boobs damn big, damn shiok"

me: "where got? bed15 boobs bigger"

xander: "where where? eeww. her one not nice lah. its fats. but the strip girl face not nice eh"

me: "okay lah. but i think the bed15 nicer lei"

me: " then bed12 bu si bigger?" (it was a fat ang mo lady.)

xander: " THAT' S FATS!"

me: "kk. i go work already."

hahaha. he damn funny can. anyway, he is my supervisor. quite high rank. hahaha. if i didnt go say i go work, i think he will start talking about all the big boobs in cafe delmar. haha.

ending work and was happily expecting a text. hahaha.

when to meet kj and randy to have a dinner at 85. haha. we ate 2 bowls of minced pork noodle each. i mean, its pretty lame going so far to eat. but it rocks at the same time. idk why. haha. kind of like it.

CIAOZ!

2008-08-30T23:05:00.005+08:00

SUPER TIRED!!!

my minds killing me. i kept waking up in the middle of the night the past few days. idk why. but nevertheless, a morning message makes me awake. but only for awhile. hahaha!heading down to cafe delmar. haven been working for like 1 week already. my pay check for this month is gonna be really low. =( the worst part i hate about my job is the super rain. it rain heavily today and i became the wet chicken like my other colleges. then it stop. making me tired out. cause we have to put the plastic to cover the beds. imagine taking off and puting back the plastic, and its super big piece. it just irritates the hell out of me. moreover, i kept yawning. was really damn tired. kind of miss my besti. got so much things to say to them althought i just saw them yesterday. haha. am gonna go to lalaland already. ciaoZ. btw, look what i have done to this pic. nice right? my hp has limited editing. if not i would make it nicer. =DDDHAHA! NICE? NICE? NICE?

ps: i fucking miss you.

2008-08-30T00:35:00.005+08:00

CHALET!!

besti: kj and randy.

JENGA!

kj pants tore when randy tried to rape him. HAHA!

well. i couldnt sleep due to some reasons. anyway, went to chalet last few days. haha. it wasnt a great chalet i would say. but i would say it was better than others. our chalet was from wed(27/08) till fri(29/08) and guess what? we decided to book the chalet on tuesday. its so super dupa last minute. and thanks to randy's mum, we had discount. $160 and 6 www/escape tickets.

ps: best friends of 5 organise this.

i followed randy to see a doctor before checking in because his skin was itch the whole night. after that, we headed down to hougang to meet KJ and grapped a bite. the sad thing is only the 3 of us arrived at the chalet together. and only the 3 of us went to get all the food, drinks and BBQ pit. but anyhow, we did make it happen.

first night was just 5 of us and darren's gf PYM. hmm...until now i dont know her name. i either call her PYM or darren's gf. HAHAHA! we played this funny game called jenga. its something like UNO STACKCO. but the bricks has truth and dare. so its kind of fun. the loser had to dance for 1 minute. haha. only i,randy and PYM were the ultimate winner who didnt have to dance for the whole night.

second night, my friends came. XM and ZIQI. haha. XM is my childhood friend. we used to play catching together. and block catching. haha. kind of miss those times. anyway, we slack and talked the whole night till dawn. and ZIQI was the fortune-teller for a moment. haha. cause we played a card game that kind of tell your love life. its half-half actually. some of the answers are true, whereas some is not. you got to judge for yourself. here's an interesting thing. i quarell with my 2 best friends in the morning cause i put toothpaste on them. randy and darren was alright, but KJ make a big fuss, its as if the whole world is dieing. come on. if there's no fun and games, we might as well just stayed at one person place. and its not as if it cant be washed off. BTW KJ, AM NOT PROVING ANYTHING TO ANYONE CAUSE SERIOUSLY I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK except for some people. and you know who. =DDD well, even married couples quarrel sometimes. HAHAHA. oh yah. i didnt upload some video, cause i cant seem to find where i put it.

2008-08-29T23:58:00.009+08:00

JESLIN HO JIA LING

BOO! didnt want to spoil her image therefore, this is a picture of the crazy girl next door. =)

actually, i have a secret that i'm so unwilling to share with her. its been trapped inside so long. but yet am afraid. am afraid of losing you as a friend. am afraid you would avoid me further than now. am afraid i cant get to see or talk to you anymore. so i would just write it over here in darkness hoping you would find it somehow. i know that am not a great guy or the perfect person or even the boy in your eyes. even if i told you that i would pull down the stars or the moon for you. that wouldnt be true. but one thing that is true is that i love you. i just love talking to you. each time whenever i talk to you, it just makes my day great. each time when i received your sms, its like bringing me to lalaland. i even beg my friend to act as you, jeslin ho. so that i can have a moment with you in my reality. last time, i always thought that a pretty and hot girl could make my heart melt. but i was wrong. when i get to know more about you. a normal girl, with a normal smile and a normal life, seems special to me. i want to be the guy to have the key to your heart. but somehow, every time i move a step towards the door. it just seems further and further and further away from me. and suddenly, for a moment, i felt that everyone in the world has died and here am i, standing alone in total vacant. somehow, i just wishes that someday, you would want to know what life am having and ask me of my day. or just send me a good morning occasionally when you wake up. sometimes i wonder, is it you didnt want to meet up with me, didnt want to see me or your just busy? and i keep telling myself and my best friends that your just busy to go out. but as days gets closer, am beginning to doubt myself. i seriously am not good with words. and i really dont know how to open it up to you. i would be willing to spend 10 years of my life just to hear how you feel about me. its funny. yesterday when i was at the chalet. i keep thinking of you no matter where i go. even when i go shit, i would think of you every minute. (its kind of sick). but thats the truth. then at night. when my 2 friends came. one of them played a game with me. she ask me to think of 4 girls. it was something like a fortune-telling game. well, some are true. but each time the card hits your name. i dont know why i felt sad and happy at the same time. maybe am sad because i know thats not true. and maybe am happy cause i made myself think that some might be true. i really dont know. right now, all i know is that am in love with you and somehow, your avoiding me. you said that if your dao, you wont be msging me and all. well, maybe you just msg along or something. i dont know. my friends said that i'm getting crazy. am scared of losing you thats all

2008-08-29T19:49:00.006+08:00

SPECIAL THANKS!!!!! =)

hahaha. a special thanks to jeslin ho jia ling. she helped me change one blogskin before this. and it took like 4 days? but she was taking her own sweet time to do it. there was some errors but overall, its still great. when i came home from chalet. she send me this current skin and said that its nice. so i do it myself this time with her teaching me how. without her, i think my blogskin would be a bunch of crap now. THANKS BABE!

ps: melody, am not noob now okay! =DD

lastly, the power of art. GUESS WHO?

am nice, =D